The 411 on Girlfriends by Melissa Jansen, BCLC

The 4-1-1 on Girlfriends w/Life Coach Melissa Jansen

Relationships are wonderful. Relationships are sticky. Relationships are WORK. Whether it’s a family member, spouse, child, boyfriend, boss, co-worker, or neighbor, no one has it the skinny on how to relate. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my closest girlfriends….and why I love them so much. In my 50 plus years, I’ve moved 10 times, and I’ve made acquaintances, friends, and best friends. I did not really have a true “bestie” until the 8th grade, when I formed a close bond with a girl my age with similar family dynamics, who walked alongside of me through the horrible hormones, traumatic events, and getting married. We recently connected in person, finally, and never lost a beat. We only talked for 3 hours but could have gone on for days. Then in late high school, I met another girl who, like me, wanted to just have fun, live life to the fullest, and though we were and are very different, we bonded. We don’t live near each other anymore, so we have to work at communicating. Her life has taken a different road than mine, but we love each other nonetheless. After getting married for the second time, I reconnected with a college acquaintance/friend, when we were both in our twenties, and having our babies. Geographically, we lived near each other for 23 years, and grew closer through a painful divorce, diets galore, political debates, and many laughs and tears. Though we do not talk every day, or even every week, there is an undeniable bond between us like no other, and she knows that I would do anything she asked me to. Then there are the mentor girlfriends, those that are 10 to 15 years older than me, who have gone before me, with husbands and kids and trials, and I cherish their counsel. In between the BFFs and mentors, I have formed friendships with others, and we know we can depend on each other. They know what my funeral memorial will look like, since I have shared it with them. However, there have been lost relationships that are painful. Women who died too young. Women who I used to talk and exercise with, who suddenly disappeared. Women who I studied the bible with for weeks, and never heard from again. Women who I worked with, but once the job was over, moved on. Ouch. Losing those have hurt. Don’t get me wrong….I am grateful for the ones that still exist. I would be a lonely soul without my friendships. Living in a new state for just 9 months, I’ve had to form new ones. It’s like starting all over again. I guess in a way I kind of like starting with a new slate. Perhaps that’s because I know that the solid rocks of my inner circle are always just a phone call away.

If you need help learning about how to find and be a friend, don’t hesitate to book a  coaching appoinment with us so we can help you make sure your friendships, the ones God ordained, can make it for the long haul! 941-301-8420,


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