Reflections on Laughter in Marriage

      When you choose to relate better with your partner, one of the best ways you can build the relationship is to laugh together.  Many couples that don’t have much fun often wonder why other couples seem to laugh so naturally together.  Believe me, the couples that are laughing together aren’t just laughing because it always comes naturally.  In fact, it is often intentional, as in the, “We’d rather laugh, than cry,” philosophy some people choose to exude.  Maybe they laugh together because they’ve made the conscious choice to be optimists versus pessimists, maybe they realize life is short, or it is because of an overflow of joy and mirth and a deep trust in the Lord’s provision despite their temporary annoyances with their spouse.  Unfortunately, laughter can also stem from an indulgent, inebriated, or mean-spirited nature, in which case the relationship will inevitably come to its own demise.

In many other cases, laughter seems natural for a couple because they came from living in an environment where laughter was modeled for them, and they were blessed to gain this type of laughing legacy.

In any case whether it comes naturally to you or not, it’s definitely worth seeking out honest, clean fun together.  This is because laughter is vital to the health of a relationship.  One of the best-kept secrets of a good team is that although the team tries their best collectively, the team members know not to take themselves or the game too seriously, but to keep an element of fun in it, especially since everyone loses sometimes.  Here is a list of ways to bring on laughter in your marriage or relationship.  Enjoy the precious times together after a long, and often hard day by choosing to do one of the following each day together.


  1. Surprise one another in fun, silly, or exciting ways!  Tell him or her you’ll be home a bit late, and then show up on time with flowers or a yummy dinner in hand, or give your spouse a card with theatre tickets in it, when they thought you had scheduled them a dental cleaning.  There are many ways you can create fun and thoughtful surprise to break up the routine and get a laugh together about the great joke you played.
  2. Play some board or video games, but crank up the volume by betting something silly at home (like, loser does a loathed chore), or something sensual (like loser gives the other a massage).
  3. Play an old familiar card game, but with speed rounds.
  4. Send your spouse a silly note from a secret admirer that is obviously in your handwriting or from your email address!
  5. Watch a favorite comedian together, and enjoy a snack while you watch.
  6. Watch a funny movie you both like, or one from the past that you both like, if you cannot find one from nowadays.  If he or she won’t watch with you, watch one yourself so you can feel less encumbered.  Bring your good mood to your spouse when the energy is up, and share the love!
  7. Make a fun food for your time together.  Being famished, parched, or completely staying away from occasional treats can contribute to grouchy attitudes.
  8. If your partner is willing, exercise or walk together, which boosts positive brain function, and tell him or her about something funny that happened to you while you exercise.
  9. Give each other blindfolded food taste tests, to see if you can tell the difference between various sodas or chocolates of different brands, or discern between your pizza crust versus store bought crust, or anything else silly that can lighten up the everyday weeknight dinners.
  10. Do a theme night for a game and dress up like characters from your own closet in five minutes or less, or make some sort of a contest out of it.
  11. Tell each other a silly story using the same five words, again and again.
  12. Appear in an outrageous outfit.
  13. Answer the phone using a funny voice when you call one another during the workday.
  14. Make a plan to say NOTHING negative over the course of your no-stress relationship time together (even if they are about others).  Save that for the other one hundred and five hours of the week.  On second thought, try not to say negative things at all if possible!
  15. Buy a joke or riddle book and read some of it together at mealtimes or before bed for a laugh.
  16. Spend time with other couples that bring out the best in you and your spouse, but make sure some of your time is only for the two of you.

Taken from RELATE: A Guide to Marriage & Relationship Repair, by Christa Hardin. Copryright 2013 Sarasota Christian Counseling, Bradenton Christian Counseling


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